While men think it’s wonderful when women are driven, motivated and successful in their careers, oftentimes powerful women apply a business mindset to their love lives. If you think you may be one of these women, notice if there’s a pattern.
Are you sabotaging the possibility of having a second date on the very first date because you feel nervous, and you have your defense mechanisms ready?
Many worthwhile guys will also agree that they love a woman with drive and aspirations. I’m here to give you the inside scoop on why it’s actually better to lose the “business suit,” let your hair down, let down your guard, and loosen up while getting to know a new guy.
1. “Business-like” Can Be Easily Misinterpreted
Without realizing it, approaching an evening that’s meant to be romantic with a business-like mindset can come across as cold and stiff to your date. Men say that their number one first date pet peeve is feeling as though they’re being interrogated.
Sure, we understand you want to see if he’s a match–but take a different approach to get better results.
If you find yourself shaking hands instead of hugging, speaking in a formal manner or reflexively steering the conversation away from even mildly personal topics, it’s time to loosen up. Putting up a wall from the get-go could prevent you from getting another chance to show this guy that there are infinitely more layers to your amazing personality than your business-like demeanor.
2. Logistics Are Vibe-Killers
Whether or not you have a job, work is an unavoidable topic on a first date. But the more invested into your career you are, the more easily shop talk can get technical–and trust me, there isn’t any faster way to kill the vibe than talking logistics. If you begin to discuss deadlines, numbers, or office politics – redirect the conversation.
Keep complaints to a minimum and highlight the parts of your job you’re passionate about and that speak to who you are as more than just a professional, but a person too.
Talking about things you love and excel at will not only give you a boost of confidence, but it will allow him to get to know you and provide a natural segue into things you love outside of work.
3. When You’ve Got Work on the Brain, There’s Not Enough Room for Anything Else
When office talk starts to monopolize the conversation, your date may infer that because it’s all you talk about, it monopolizes your life as well. If you’re on a date, that means you’re at least somewhat interested in making time in your life for someone, so allow that to come through in your conversation.
Make sure to talk about things you like to do in your spare time, or mention your family, friends, or something funny that happened to you recently outside the office.
If your career is a huge part of your life, there’s no need to be ashamed of that; the right guy will love your ambitious fire. Just make sure that when you’re getting to know someone, especially for the first time, you relax a bit and let him get to know the WHOLE you.