Suzanne from Burlington asks…

I have been on and off of here for several years. Met someone initially and dated for 2 years, that ended about 4 years ago. Since that time, I have tried changing my pics regularly and my profile and I barely get any responses, what can I do to get more interest from men?

 

Suzanne,

Online dating isn’t easy, is it?  And things have changed a lot since you were on the site six years ago, before you met your former beau.  The main difference is that there are simply more people online now.

A Pew research study just came out saying that the stigma against online dating is mostly gone, and, among a cohort of 10 million internet users who say they are currently single, 74% say they have used the internet in one way or another to further their romantic interests.

This is all good news in that online dating has become mainstream, but this is also bad news because the more people there are- the more choices people have, and the more opportunity there is to pass up someone wonderful using what I like to call “grass is greener syndrome.”

As we all know, men are visual- so the first thing they will notice will be your photo.  (It’s the first thing women notice as well, but men base their decisions more on the physical aspects of a person than women do.)  For that reason, it’s important that you’re putting your best foot forward in your photos.

I recommend 3 to 5 photos.  Less is more when it comes to photos because when someone finds one he doesn’t feel is as attractive, he moves on to the next person on the site.  Make sure the first photo is a clear shot of your face.

Another one should be a full-body shot.  For the others, you can include one of you doing an activity or just in a different setting.  The key is to show what you look like – not your vacation, your cat, or your friends – you.  There are also studies that show that wearing red gives you a slight advantage.

As for the profile: write more than a few sentences, but try to avoid writing a novel.  Remember, the purpose of your profile is not to share your life story with someone.  Rather, it’s meant to entice someone to go out with you.

So again, less is more.  Try to set yourself apart a bit by avoiding clichés (partner in crime, little black dress to jeans, love to laugh) and instead sharing some things you like to spend your time doing.

Also, I do recommend that both men and women reach out to people of interest, so if you’re not doing it already, please do send some notes to men whose profiles you like.  They’ll be thrilled a wonderful woman like you is showing interest!

Good luck!
Erika