Little White Lies

When you shouldn't tell white lies Anyone in a successful relationship will tell you honesty is essential to having a great partnership. So is it ever OK to stretch the truth when getting to know someone new?

White lies are variations on the facts designed to hide a truth that would otherwise be hurtful or harmful to hear. Here are some of the most common untruths uttered in order to maintain a little dignity and decorum when dating.

I Thought the Meal Was Nice

Being polite after a less-than-appetizing meal sometimes requires you to serve up a little post-dinner deception. Especially on first dates — and especially when your date is paying — it’s considered impolite, not to mention ungrateful, to complain about your meal. If your date seems displeased with the food, a subtle “uh huh” in agreement will suffice.

There’s no need to chime in with a scathing critique of the cuisine. Just make a mental note not to return to the establishment again – and another note to make sure you choose the dinner date venue next time.

I Really Like Opera/Football/Watching Paint Dry

There’s not much harm in this little white lie, but like many of its untruthful counterparts, it can come back and bite you on the butt, big time. Your less-than-genuine enthusiasm for a date’s hobbies can set a dangerous precedent.

Picture yourself a few months down the track, a windy, rainy weekend blindly stumbling along a walking track in some god-forsaken national park – all because you said you loved bushwalking. Take it from me. I have sat through all the riveting action of the Tour de France because, in the first bloom of romance, I gave my beau the impression that I loved nothing more than watching endless hours of competitive cycling on television. Doh!

I’ve Only Had a Couple Serious Relationships

Questions about your sexual history are crass and invasive, especially when you’re just getting to know someone, so don’t hesitate in being vague when a date starts digging for dirt. This little white lie is a handy foil when the date conversation heads into too-intimate too-soon territory.

And if you do end up seeing each on a more serious basis – thus deciding to be more forthcoming about your exes – you can always insist that you have only had a couple of serious relationships and the rest meant nothing.

I Love It! What a Great Gift!

In the early stages of dating, hormones, chemicals and just plain bad taste can make us buy all manner of kitschy gifts for our loved one. We are often too courteous — or too blinded by love — to let our date know exactly what we think of their hideous taste in gifts. We don’t want to break our lover’s heart or miss out on getting presents in the future, so we fake it.

But this little white lie can have serious repercussions – depending how wide of the mark your paramour’s gift choices are. As time goes by – and the tacky and impersonal gifts start piling up – you’ll find yourself dropping none-to-subtle hints (and store catalogs marked with Post-It notes) in an effort to redeem yourself from this little white lie.

It’s Not You, It’s Me…

As white lies go, this one does a nice job in protecting others from a harsh reality. One of the oldest brush-off lines in the book, it’s a handy way of deflecting unreciprocated romantic attention. This statement softens the blow of rejection by telling your date that there’s nothing wrong with them – it’s you who is unworthy.

Put this way, it actually sounds like you’re doing them a favor by not going out with them, when the truth is that you’d rather eat glass than see them again.

Being truthful is a dating fundamental, but there will come a time in every single’s life when being a little creative with the truth is not only OK, but essential.

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