I Want to Appear Interested, But Not Desperate. Where’s the Fine Line?

girl looking at cell phone sadly Kristina from Ann Arbor asks:

“What is your opinion on ‘not being too desperate’ by accepting dates right away vs. playing hard to get? How available should a girl be towards a guy she likes? You want to appear interested, but not desperate. Where’s the fine line? “


Thank you for your question Kristina, these are common challenges.

A lot of women feel if they make themselves available, they may be dubbed as desperate.

If you like the person asking you out, your answer should be YES. Men don’t like rejection to begin with.

As for the availability, it is always good (or recommended) to let him know that you’ll check your schedule and get back to him; after all, you are a busy lady.

The fine line is if you give him the impression that you’re waiting for him to ask you out and that you’re quick to clear your schedule and accommodate his needs and his schedule over your own. Having your own life and interests is attractive to a man, because they value women with independence and confidence.

If they feel you’re “squeezing” him in to your schedule, it’s certainly more appealing and he’ll feel more like he’s fighting to spend time with you, rather than you saying: “Oh call me anytime.”

This might leave him with the impression you’re totally wide open because your life is just so absent of any sort of fun activities and a date with him is the highlight of your week.



About Carmelia Ray

Carmelia is a dating, matchmaking & relationship expert, with over 20 years experience working in the dating industry. She has personally interviewed over 60,000 singles all over North America and is a published author.
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