Heather  from Albuquerque asks:

“My family tells me I often miss when guys are flirting with me. How do I tell when a guy is interested and how can I encourage more interaction?”

Hi Heather:

My first piece of advice to you is to stop identifying yourself as someone who “misses flirtations”. If you say this too much it can actually become more of a crutch and then eventually, an excuse. Really, 5 years from now, do you still want to have the reputation of being clueless or do you want to be a woman who tunes in and responds, eventually leading herself to a successful relationship?

Start saying to yourself, ‘I’m going to consistently look for instances where men are flirting with me’. They will start to reveal themselves.

Things you want to start looking for are:

• Lingering glances – do you catch him checking you out?
• Body Clues – does he touch his head a lot when he’s around you or shuffle his feet?
• TouchyFeely – does he go out of his way to touch your arm when talking?
• Teasing – is he consistently teasing you in a fun way?
• Inquisitive – does he ask you a lot of questions about yourself?

These are some super basic things to start looking for to help you get those blinders off. They don’t necessarily mean he is absolutely flirting with you however, they are all actions that men will exhibit when flirting.

Once you notice he is flirting or you think he might be flirting, shift into active encouragement. Don’t worry about flirting back just yet, just be an active recipient who is charming and receives well from men.

Have fun, that is what flirting is all about!

Christine