Bouncing back from a break-up is a great thing, but bounce back too quickly and there’s the danger of falling into the dreaded rebound relationship.

These rarely work out, precisely because we use them as a kind of bandage to get us through the emotional pain of the break up. When the pain is gone, so is the need for the bandage and we toss it away. Don’t be the bandage. Arm yourself with the necessary knowledge to spot and avoid the rebound.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

When your new paramour tells you that you look just like Melissa (or whatever their old flame was called) it’s a clear sign that the relationship will be a bouncy one. And you may be walking into a Stepford Wife scenario, so if you don’t want to be turned into the robotic version of Melissa, get out while you can.

Haunting the Old Haunts

Speaking of the ghosts of relationships past, imagine you’re out for a nice dinner and your new girl lets out a sigh, then says, “I was just remembering all of the good times Chuck and I had here. It was our place, actually.” Which is strange because she suggested it — and she took you to their favorite club the night before. Are you getting the sinking feeling that you’re starring in the relationship version of Groundhog Day? Yep, if you keep revisiting places they went or doing things they used to do, you’re caught up in a rebound. She can’t move on, but you should.

What Are You Doing Here?

You meet up with a new guy for coffee but keep passing coffee shop after coffee shop without stopping in. When you question him, he says there’s a perfect little place a little farther on. When you arrive, who should be your barista but Little Miss Ex-perfect Girlfriend? What a coincidence. Of course, he introduces you and she gives you the stink eye to end all stink eyes. The “Look How Great I’m Doing” rebound, finds you squeezed into a war of one-upmanship that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. You’re a pawn in their sick game. Retire from the board before they do it for you.

Museum of Love

You finally get invited into your date’s house and find it’s like walking into a shrine. There are happy photos of her and the ex rock-climbing and vacationing in Mexico, cute little pictures she painted him and the “I heart Doug” mug she made him for Christmas. And, you could swear that she quickly shuffled some of his old letters off the table when you walked in. If she’s immersed herself in this world of the past, you can be sure that her mind is still there too.

Quick Turn Around

If the answer to “So when did you two break up?” is anything less than a month ago tread carefully. Obviously every situation is unique, but usually when someone leaves a relationship it takes a little healing time before they are emotionally ready for a new one. So, if last week they were engaged and this week they are looking for the new future Ms. Right, you’d be wise to walk the other way, down any aisle that leads to a sign reading “Exit.”

Everything You Do, Reminds Me of…

The way you brush the hair from your face. The way you laugh at his jokes. That dress you’re wearing. This pasta you cooked. If everything you do reminds him of the past, he’s using you to relive his old relationship. So unless you want to spend the next few months in some romantic K-tel “Hits of the Ex” recording, remind him what it’s like to have someone say goodbye.